I used to not give much thought to the man that I would end up with. I didn't believe in it as I thought it was in vain. I actually didn't even think I'd ever really have someone like that. I have so many things I want to do and being in love is such a distraction. But, as I grew older I realized that the people you love are the most important thing in life. Love isn't something to be feared or pushed away. It's something to be embraced. It's what makes us human. It's what brings out the best in us.
Making a checklist of superficial things, sure, doesn't mean anything. But, as I learn more about myself, I know what matters to me and I know what I want. I've seen glimpses of forever and today more than ever, I'm feeling the absence of someone I haven't met yet. But I know who they are. Because I can feel it in my bones. I feel it in my soul.
He is my rock. He's been through hell and back and because of it knows exactly what he wants. He doesn't regret the choices that he's made in life. He's learned how to love himself, forgive himself, and learn from the curveballs that life threw at him and will continue to throw at him. He's continually growing as a person. He's becoming mentally, spiritually, and emotionally strong enough to meet me. He sees me for who I am. Not a hot date. Not a conquest. Not a woman robot on a pedestal who doesn't have the capacity to get hurt. He understands that I'm a human being. That I have flaws and needs, mentally, spiritually, emotionally, some that might not be so pretty, that might not be so easy. He understands my complexity and is willing to explore life and love with me. He's willing to stand up to the challenge. He's willing to work things through, and he's willing to jump off the deep end. He isn't ruled by and defined by fear and the unknown. I make him want to be a better person. He supports my visions, my dreams, and my goals no matter how big they are, no matter where they take me. Most of all, he is singularly, exclusively, and fiercely loyal. He's there for me. No matter what.
And I know he's out there.
To that man:
I know I still have walls to break, mountains to climb, things to get done. But right now it's really hard. I'm not going to lie. And I can't wait to be with you. I know you're out there. And I know we both still have some growing to do before we meet. So, until our paths come together, I'll promise to be dedicated to my mine. Because I know you will be to yours.